The Beaver

Starring Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster
Directed by Jodie Foster

by Joanna Orland

What. The. Eff.

Jodie Foster is obviously great mates with Mel Gibson to give the unredeemable actor a chance to make a comeback after his sugar tits, wife beating, anti-semitic episodes. Good old loyal Jodie took a chance and cast Mel as the lead in her new film The Beaver. Mel plays a crazy person both in real life and in this film. There is no build up outside of 5 minutes narration about how Mel’s character has mental issues before he finds a Beaver puppet in his car trunk and puts in on his hand and gives it was is supposedly a Cockney accent, but I had actually thought it was his natural Australian voice.

There were many awkward laughs from the audience in this silly drama, notably during the traumatizing ménage-a-trois between Mel, Jodie and The Beaver (apropos). Anyway, this was a horrid film and a joke. I was expecting and hoping it would be so bad it was good, but it was just bad. The only redemption came in the likable son character who was Chekov in the new Star Trek (sans Russian accent). And the lady president from 24 – she’s awesome.

Mel just needs to disappear from the public eye and retire in Iran alongside potential-best-mate Mahmoud.