By Joanna Orland
My interview with Stereo MCs was nearly a disaster from the start. I wasn’t supposed to be the one interviewing them so had very little time to prepare questions and working equipment. And of course, Stereo Mcs Nick Hallam and Rob Birch are fairly intimidating people, which did not help my ill-prepared self one little bit.
I showed up to the venue early, was wandering around in a daze, was introduced to the guys, was terrified of Rob as he has this perpetual facial expression like he could punch you in the face at any given moment, was left wandering with the guys for a quiet place to talk, ended up in the middle of the greenery in Hoxton Square, sat down for our chat, and none of my frickin equipment worked! Luckily Rob didn’t throw a punch at this.
Nick was very understanding – he was the main one responding to my interview questions… He was SO understanding that after the interview he said that if my recording didn’t work, I could take the liberty to make up the entire interview!!! GENIUS!
Turns out my equipment DID work, but fuck it… Nick Hallam said I could, so here is my made up interview with the Stereo MCs:
Loose Lips: So guys. What inspired you to get into the music biz?
NH: I always walk around the house with major AGRO, banging shit, like pots and pans and stuff so I thought, why not make some money out of this?
RB: intense stare
Loose Lips: Fascinating. So of all the people you’ve worked with, who were some of your faves?
NH: Beyonce. She was a class act.
RB: intense stare
Loose Lips: Who was your first love?
NH: Well, let’s just say that Justin wasn’t Britney’s first. Or, rather, Britney wasn’t Justin’s first.
RB: intense stare
Well, there you have it folks. Total utter nonsense inspired by the words of Nick Hallam and the stare of Rob Birch, collectively known as the Stereo MCs.
The real interview was more like this:
Loose Lips: Very professional question
NH: insert totally sane, gentlemanly comment here
RB:intense stare
One day I will go back and write the REAL interview…. Today is not that day.