Belle and Sebastian love to stage dive… and I love to love them baby!

Belle and Sebastian and The New Pornographers
March 3rd NYC

by Dani Aronson

I left work early only to wait in the freezing cold of Time Square for an hour. However, thoughts of my darling Stevie, lovely Stuart, sexy Bobby, and my one true love Mick kept me excited and made the bitter cold almost tolerable… and finally at 6:30 we were let inside. My friend Sylvie and I were pretty much in the first row, right behind these two hos that were leaning on the front barricade. I couldn’t believe we were so close. The New Pornographers put on a good show. Their drummer was especially amusing, and he started singing ‘Eye of the Tiger’ in the middle of the set. So he’s officially awesome. The keyboard player was an adorable pixie lesbot with a Harry Potter shirt. If she were a boy I would probably have such a crush on her. I briefly fancied a cute boy in a photo, who turned out to be Gillian having a bad hair day. Damn ambiguous lesbians and pot smoking Scottish lassies and their confusing boy cuts!

Belle and Sebastian took the stage and I was so excited I thought I would pee my pants. Stuart is so skinny (anorexic skinny, not bulimic skinny), and I am pretty sure the shirt he was wearing is from Miss Selfridge. So of course I’m in love with Stuart. I mean, I love a man that can pull off the latest trend in female shirt attire and still look dead sexy, but he dances like he’s having a seizure, and Sarah stands there watching him on the verge of laughter. Stevie was dancing up a storm as well – his moves are straight out of a New Jersey bar circa 1987. Stevie is like an overgrown five year old (like Robin Williams in that movie Jack), and throughout ‘Electronic Renaissance’ he seemed to be using his instrument as his imaginary light saber… this surpassed the ridiculousness of Stuart’s dancing by far! Bobby just stands there looking dead sexy and stoned as ever – when the weed wears off he’ll be like ‘What, I’m in a band with these super nerdy ex-band geeks, what’s going on, oh well, give me another hit….’

Mick is my new favorite boy (man) in the band. He takes his horn playing very seriously, and pretty much just stuck to playing his music without all the theatrics of the Stuart and Stevie show. However, when they opened the show, and he wasn’t playing his horn, he danced around clapping for the first five minutes (I guess he could have played the tambourine or something?). It was like a 5th grade talent show gone wrong. But I love him still. I said “Mick, you’re fit!” and he looked at me seeming very embarrassed. Oh, those shy British boys, they are my weakness. I remember at uni in Harrow I had a crush on this Welsh boy, we called him Peter Pan. At first we thought he was gay, but it turns out he’s just Welsh (sheep fucker) and wore a lot of pink…. Anyway, back to the show. There was a lot of good audience and band banter. I had my Celtics scarf on, and at one point I was like “Ceeeeeeltics” like a drunk catholic Scotsman, with my scarf up, Stuart looked right at me and laughed… I guess he is a Rangers fan??? I hope not! Before the encore song of ‘Judy and the Dream of Horses’ Stuart said he had an itch and Stevie had to hold his chord while he scratched it, and I said “I’ll scratch your back” and Stuart responded “You’re too far away”. I would have liked to scratch his back; maybe after feeding him a bowl of pasta – that boy needs some meat on his bones. They played a good mix of the new and old stuff. Stevie sang a lot more than he usually does which was great because he sings on some of their best songs… like ‘The Wrong Girl’ I was so happy they played that – what an awesome tune! So, apparently Stuart leapt into the audience and crowd surfed the night before! I am so sad he didn’t on our night. I definitely would have copped a feel of his man bones. And that would be a sight to see! He is so frail, I would expect him to break at least three bones! So after the encore when everyone left, Chris comes up to the mic and says the after party is at the Oak Room (and actually it was at the Royal Oak – there is no Oak Room) in Williamsburg, and without even thinking I say really loud “Williamsburg sucks!” and he looks right at me, looks around very confused, shrugs and walks off. Why are they going to Williamsburg? I hope they realize it is lame and maybe next time they tour the USA they’ll hang out in the Slope, or Boreum Hill, or the Heights. Everything and everyone in Williamsburg generally is overrated and pretentious. Mick can hang out in my room. I like the way he plays his trumpet. Rarrrrrrrrrrrr.

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