By Isla MC
The world today is a very scary place. Bush and Blair are STILL in power (come on guys, why haven’t we revolted yet?), we’re faced with the reality of having to live Waterworld-stylee thanks to climate change, and you can’t even say ‘Shilpa Poppadom’ without everyone getting cross. But who (apart from Jade Goody) poses the biggest global threat in 2007?
Dr Gillian McKeith
Hilariously, when I downloaded this picture from the internet it was titled ‘Hi Satan’ which I think says it all pretty nicely. This woman is scary. Never, has a more joyless human being walked the face of the earth (with the exception of the third entry on this list). What’s wrong with a biscuit or two? If you ask me, life is all about sensual pleasures and Dr Gillian McKeith deprives her poor underlings of all these. Look at her ‘smile’. Her gnashers grinding together like she’d rather eat me for dinner than a bloody mung bean and seaweed stew.
Plus, every week on her show, she wastes hundreds of pounds worth of food. This, as my flatmate pointed out, is a terrible, terrible thing. Dr Gillian, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Evil, evil, evil. A horrible, moronic band responsible for the premature sexualisation of thousands of pre-teen girls. Why aren’t parents more responsible with what they let their children get their hands on? My nine year-old cousin was actually bought the PCD album by her mother. HUH? For Christ’s sake. These women, this marketing concept, is Britney and Christina on a disgusting scale and, frankly, they should be banned. And they’re fucking weird looking — well, that redhead one at least.
This android-like TV presenter (’10 Years Younger’) is here for pretty much the same reasons as Dr Gill but, as well as being joyless, charmless and possessed of a creepy smile, this ‘woman’ is also patronising, tactless and bears more than a passing resemblance to a cold, dead fish. Ten minutes in the company of this most unpleasant specimen would drive even the most patient soul to suicide.
Also, I don’t know who she thinks she is to bang on about the sartorial crimes of others — this jacket is HEINOUS.
Bars with toilet attendants
Nothing against the actual attendants, who are usually nothing if not delightful, but this whole concept reeks of some kind of antiquated colonialist society. We really shouldn’t be condoning this kind of thing in the 21st century.
I have discussed this on Loose Lips before. TROLL.
Having looked back on this article I would like to point out that I do not hate women, because I seem to be railing against my sex somewhat. I love women. Thoughtful, intelligent, responsible ones. But not these silly, monstrous horrors. Come on girls, sort it out.