by Joanna Orland
Celebrity’s quest for eternal youth is often plagued by bad botox, poofy lips, wind-blown faces and bottles of bleach. And that’s just Melanie Griffith.
Plastic surgery and other such devices are costly processes and don’t always guarantee to make you look better or more youthful. Why go through all of the expense and risk of plastic surgery just because the celebrities are doing it!? There are other ways, and I have proof!
Let’s take a look at Tom Cruise. He seems to be getting younger as each year passes and these days he’s looking just the same as he did in Risky Business! Sure, he IS a celebrity and celebrities usually go the way of the plastic, but I don’t think Tom cruised in that direction. Here on Loose Lips, we reveal for the first time, the secret to youth, the Tom Cruise way.
Grow fringe: This only works with men. A woman grows fringe and she looks the same. A man grows fringe and he looks about 12 years old.
Wear braces: No one over 21 should be wearing braces on their teeth. Tom surely could’ve afforded the mouth fixture while in his 20’s. Why did he opt to wear them when in his 40’s if not to cash in on the youthful quality of the metal-mouthed brace face?
Date women with lopsided faces who are 20 years younger than you: Ladies with lopsided faces generally don’t look very young. With the lady’s age at the forefront of people’s minds, Tom can proudly stand next to her without the age difference showing. Therefore he looks the same age as a 26 year-old lopsided faced lady…. therefore he looks about 26 years old himself. Right.
Adopt children – never father them yourself: By adopting his children rather than
spreading his seed, Tom avoids that nasty situation 20 years down the line standing side by side with his offspring reminding the public of what he looked like 20 years prior. Nothing shows your age more when there’s a younger version of you standing right by your side. Just look at Demi and Bruce and their mirror-imaged offspring. And of course there’s Tom Hanks’ kid starring in films alongside Jack Black, where do you think Kate Hudson came from, Lippy Liv Tyler carries on the family tradition, Junior Jaggers, ugly Osbournes… the list is endless. Thank goodness Michael Jackson’s kids wear veils over their faces!
Star in Hollywood blockbusters and avoid quirky indie films: Bigger lighting budget.
When you’re younger, star in a film called Cocktail: Once you’ve done that, the
public will REFUSE to see you as an old man. You will forever be that young handsome bartender from Cocktail.
Time to make like Tom and cruise….